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Nov 27, 2009, 7:17am




;) Nox13last Software and Games ;) :: Role Play :: Characters (Submitted and Current) :: Flame
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 AuthorTopic: Flame (Read 76 times)
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 Flame
« Thread Started on Aug 3, 2008, 1:56pm »

Image URL:
Character Name: Flame
Age: unknown
Total Weight: 20 stone
Total Height: 2 metres
Date of conception: unknown
Gender: Male
Species: mutant
Place of conception: secret laboritory on a distant planet
Place of Residence: abandoned building
Appearance:
tall,muscular,orange,spiky(head spikes are bigger than back spikes) big spiked fists
Alliance: Hero
Fight?: CHOOSE ONE
Special Attacks:
firestorm: causes alot of collateral damadge

rage smash: the more angry he is the more damadge this attack does.

fire rush: turns himself into a massive fireball and charges at the enemy. it runs a high risk of hurting himself.

mighty beam: creates a massive beam of fire while firing he cannot move has zero defence and for 1 hour after cannot weild a weapon as it would melt.
Special Moves:

fly: uses fire to fly
Motto [Optional]:
Personality: a good joker but when he loses his temper...
History:
he was created in a abandoned lab. he was tortured every day until he broke out when one of the experiments went wrong and gave him powers. he found a space shuttle but was shot down. luckily he survived.
Personality: a good joker but when he loses his temper...
History:
he was created in a abandoned lab. he was tortured every day until he broke out when one of the experiments went wrong and gave him powers. he found a space shuttle but was shot down. luckily he survived.
Current:
he is questing to find and destroy the lab that nearly killed him
Marital/Romance:
none at moment
Finalities:
although tough he is weak to phycic attacks. he likes to tinker with machines although he usually makes mistakes. he is mentally unstable due to the torture hes taken. he gets angry easily and has really bad flashbacks. also has a split personality. When he is not angry he is funny and laid back. when he is angry he is dead serious.
« Last Edit: Jul 7, 2009, 1:06pm by burner »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged
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 Re: Flame
« Reply #1 on Aug 3, 2008, 2:09pm »

sorry i cant get a picture of him the tutorial wont load :(
if i can arange it i will send you a picture of him personally 13last.
« Last Edit: Aug 5, 2008, 7:37am by burner »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged
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Noxedwin Tepes



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 Re: Flame
« Reply #2 on Mar 4, 2009, 4:10pm »

Criticisms:
    The list is mostly STAT related. I.E.:
  • Super Slam: Having a fist the size of a small refrigerator is a little too big. Also, claiming it can flatten almost any enemy is a no.
  • Fireball: Having an attack that can knockback does litle for the Mary Sue argument when the purpose is blinding every living creature in the vicinity.
  • How can something nearly three metres tall (which is a criticism in it's own right) weigh only fifteen stone? I weigh fifteen stone.
  • Ultimate Form: Such forms are usually only available after collecting a series of MacGuffins. The Blue Hedgehog's form comes after the arduous pilgrimage of seven gemstones. The Keyblade Wielder's ultimate form comes as a result of slaying enough creatures to populate the whole of Russia. Although, Konoko (Oni) only gets her super form after overpowering herself with healing hyposprays. These restrictions are only based on how powerful they are. As such, Super Sonic is only THREE times as powerful as his Normal Form, because the Blue Hedgehog is so damned capable in his own right.
"

Coming up with über powers and then simply counteracting them with character foibles is, in retrospect, not the best method. If you find out you put too much salt in the cooking pot, you don't immediately rush for the sugar. Making a well-rounded and balanced character is a difficult chemistry.

I'm not going to generate a verdict yet, not until another experienced RolePlayer sees it. This application will be suspended instead of denied.
« Last Edit: Mar 5, 2009, 10:38am by Nox13last »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged

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Name: Nox Tepes
Age: 15
Species: Feline/European Dragon

Weapons: [Primary] Kingdom Keyblade, [Secondary] StarSeeker Keyblade, [Auxillary] Dragon Fang pleck Keychain
Apparel: Simple Red and White Buckled Shoes, White Gloves, Form Garb
Miscellaneous Yellow Chaos Emerald, Red Chaos Emerald (Meun)
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 Re: Flame
« Reply #3 on Mar 5, 2009, 10:31am »

ok ill tweak it again.
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Noxedwin Tepes



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Karma: 23
 Re: Flame
« Reply #4 on Mar 5, 2009, 11:17am »

Getting closer.
I refer you to my earlier post concerning the cooking pot and the seasoning. You're trying too hard to balance your Firebeam attack. You're making extreme power and balancing it with extreme penalty afterwards. Try mixing power and penalty together by, say, immobility or lowered defense WHILE casting the attack.

And please sort out your grammar. You'd score more points if you used capital letters and proper punctuation.

I've decided to NOT include the second opinion because it's pig-headed and judgementally biased.
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I'm a better Brawler than this. Click my card and raise my Level some.


Name: Nox Tepes
Age: 15
Species: Feline/European Dragon

Weapons: [Primary] Kingdom Keyblade, [Secondary] StarSeeker Keyblade, [Auxillary] Dragon Fang pleck Keychain
Apparel: Simple Red and White Buckled Shoes, White Gloves, Form Garb
Miscellaneous Yellow Chaos Emerald, Red Chaos Emerald (Meun)
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 Re: Flame
« Reply #5 on Mar 6, 2009, 6:32am »

ok will do.
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Elementus... Give me your power. ELEMENTAL BLAST! (Attack does: OMG PWNAGE damage)

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 Re: Flame
« Reply #6 on Jun 1, 2009, 9:43pm »

Using fire to fly? Now THAT is an original idea, (Or at least original compared to most of the ideas for our roleplays. ::))
And umm, Collateral Damage means doing damage to the environment/civillians, is this a misunderstanding or an intended flaw to help keep balance? Describe how he got back from this "Distant Planet".
Describe more personality other than "Mentally Unstable", e.g. Compassionate, loyal, Stubborn ect. And most important of all, make sure it all blends together well. The tinkering seems like a simple add on. Scavia's Technology is not too advanced so it is lacking in the machines department but still, if you'd like you can explain his hobby more, and if we make more roleplays then machines would possibly appear more prominently.
More attacks would do good and mix it up, add variety.
« Last Edit: Jun 1, 2009, 9:45pm by NoxBANDIT »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged

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 Re: Flame
« Reply #7 on Jul 7, 2009, 1:01pm »

ok ill tweak him again. collateral damadge means it does damadge to everything like surf in a
game of pokemon enviroment people enemies other players. etc etc. it is a attempt also to balance him out a little.
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